To have and express empathy requires that a person has had opportunities in life to imagine what it’s like to be inside another person's mind and life...
Is there any attempt to teach empathy in school? I would like to see new kind of sex education, one where kids can learn what it's like to be the other sex. What are the likes and dislike and challenges that are different. How fun and useful would it be to organize a discussion that would facilitate boys and girls to help each other to understand some things that are different. I think it would help a lot in reducing harassment, bullying etc.
Sort of counter-intuitive (?) to me, but maybe because I was raised by two school-teachers who taught me to read precociously and put the complete Shakespeare in my little lap to follow along with "The Age of Kings" on early PBS. Other than that, I am excruciatingly ADHD and morbidly empathetic!
Ordinarily, I am on the side of nature, but is this discourse in the direction of "nurture?"
I would agree that children who read more fiction would likely be more empathetic and that empathy is a learned behavior. Is there an early opportunistic window of teaching the ability to try to understand the feelings and experiences of another, such as two years of age or even younger? If that is the case, the fact that preschool-age children spend much more time away from both parents due to mothers entering the workforce may result in children not beginning the lifelong journey of honing their empathy skills at the most opportune time in their development.
I believe it is more likely that a child's parent will stop the quarreling, or even physical fighting, to take the time to teach life lessons such as what caused the disagreement or how you think the other child feels when you do that. An unrelated caregiver or school teacher will be more likely to just stop the negative behaviors than a parent who would be more invested in the long-term behavior and emotional growth.
From personal experience with my children, I know that when there is a disturbance between children at school, all the children are disciplined without inquiries about who started it or what the initial insult was. In fact, that is school policy. Think of the lessons learned and not learned from such interactions over time. When I was a child in the 1950s, teachers often took children aside and had those discussions to teach life lessons and prevent future problems.
During the Covid epidemic, Sam Harris, philosopher and neurologist, had a podcast discussion about the burnout of doctors and nurses and why they left their professions after only a few years. Harris thought healthcare providers should understand the difference between empathy and sympathy because imagining yourself in the suffering patient's place takes too much energy. In contrast, sympathy would have the same result and not be hard on the caregiver.
Feeling sorry for the patient would not result in the same quality of care as asking, "What would I want or need if I were in that person's place?" What needs to change isn't replacing empathy with sympathy; it is that more time is required to feel, think, and act accordingly, whether as parents, teachers, or healthcare providers.
Is there any attempt to teach empathy in school? I would like to see new kind of sex education, one where kids can learn what it's like to be the other sex. What are the likes and dislike and challenges that are different. How fun and useful would it be to organize a discussion that would facilitate boys and girls to help each other to understand some things that are different. I think it would help a lot in reducing harassment, bullying etc.
Sort of counter-intuitive (?) to me, but maybe because I was raised by two school-teachers who taught me to read precociously and put the complete Shakespeare in my little lap to follow along with "The Age of Kings" on early PBS. Other than that, I am excruciatingly ADHD and morbidly empathetic!
Ordinarily, I am on the side of nature, but is this discourse in the direction of "nurture?"
I would agree that children who read more fiction would likely be more empathetic and that empathy is a learned behavior. Is there an early opportunistic window of teaching the ability to try to understand the feelings and experiences of another, such as two years of age or even younger? If that is the case, the fact that preschool-age children spend much more time away from both parents due to mothers entering the workforce may result in children not beginning the lifelong journey of honing their empathy skills at the most opportune time in their development.
I believe it is more likely that a child's parent will stop the quarreling, or even physical fighting, to take the time to teach life lessons such as what caused the disagreement or how you think the other child feels when you do that. An unrelated caregiver or school teacher will be more likely to just stop the negative behaviors than a parent who would be more invested in the long-term behavior and emotional growth.
From personal experience with my children, I know that when there is a disturbance between children at school, all the children are disciplined without inquiries about who started it or what the initial insult was. In fact, that is school policy. Think of the lessons learned and not learned from such interactions over time. When I was a child in the 1950s, teachers often took children aside and had those discussions to teach life lessons and prevent future problems.
During the Covid epidemic, Sam Harris, philosopher and neurologist, had a podcast discussion about the burnout of doctors and nurses and why they left their professions after only a few years. Harris thought healthcare providers should understand the difference between empathy and sympathy because imagining yourself in the suffering patient's place takes too much energy. In contrast, sympathy would have the same result and not be hard on the caregiver.
Feeling sorry for the patient would not result in the same quality of care as asking, "What would I want or need if I were in that person's place?" What needs to change isn't replacing empathy with sympathy; it is that more time is required to feel, think, and act accordingly, whether as parents, teachers, or healthcare providers.
Excellent piece. I'm sharing with teacher friends