Don’t Be Harsh On Yourself About Your ADHD Tendencies: Make Jokes About Them

Some people are tortured by what they perceive as their “disability” of ADHD. Others celebrate it.

Image by Victoria from Pixabay

Some people are tortured by what they perceive as their “disability” of ADHD. Others celebrate it.

As the Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus said twenty centuries ago: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” And that’s usually very much within your control, as Kathy shared with me in an online ADHD forum.

Kathy on the Internet writes:

I didn’t learn that I had ADHD until I was twenty-four, about two years ago. Prior to that time, I’d always figured that my problem was that I was blonde. You know all those jokes they tell about blondes? That’s me.

I’m forgetful, distractible, impulsive (I used to be a pushover on first dates, unfortunately), impatient, and always interrupting people. After being told for so many years that I was just a typical blonde, I’d come to believe it, that there was something genetic or whatever about blondes. I’d always be relegated to the dumb blonde jobs, and viewed as a dumb blonde by men.

When I learned about ADHD, I realized that my problem wasn’t about being blonde, it was about having ADHD. I’m a Hunter, as you describe in your books, and, looking back, I see that I come from a long line of them. My mother and father, my mom’s parents, my brother, at least two of my cousins — you get the picture.

So at first, when I learned about my ADHD, I really struggled with trying to become a different and more “normal” person. I took Ritalin for a little over a year, and it helped me in college but I didn’t like how it would make me feel a bit jittery and then I’d crash, craving sweets by the end of the day like there was no tomorrow. And when I didn’t take the Ritalin, I was more distractible.

I think, though, that two things have really helped me the most. The first is understanding what ADHD is and how it affects me. I now know what my challenges are, and I’m working on them one at a time. I have my impulsivity under control, now, for example, to a very large extent. And I’ve learned other coping strategies. That year on Ritalin taught me a lot about what I was capable of.

But the second thing, and, I think probably the most important, is something I learned from my days as a dumb blonde. (I have an IQ of 127, by the way.)

Back in high school, whenever I’d space out or lose something like my car keys or forget my homework, my friends or teachers would make jokes about my being a “typical blonde.” I learned very early on, probably around the 7th grade, that if I got upset about those jokes, they’d just make more of them.

On the other hand, if I made jokes about myself, and went along with their jokes, they were more willing to forgive me my foibles. Making jokes about myself allowed me to just be me, knowing that I wasn’t quite like everybody else, but not sobbing about it or playing the part of the victim.

I’ve applied this now to ADHD. My friends who know about my ADHD now hear me make jokes about my ADHD, instead of my being blonde. With others who don’t know what ADHD is, when I forget something or am late or whatever (and, really, it’s happening less and less), I can always revert back to my blonde jokes.

A good sense of humor is a powerful tool. It helps me keep my self-esteem intact, and deflects upset or anger on the part of others. I highly recommend it as an ADHD success technique.