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Patricia Lane's avatar

I relate so much to the noted aspects of hunters as regards’ scanning’ . My mother used to say to me ‘ stop being so afraid to miss something’. The abrupt changes in direction of conversation is so familiar . I have a daughter that has also been diagnosed with ADHD. Her I Q is quite High as she was described as a ‘risk taker’.

Her sisters were so compliant and methodical they thought she was ‘ crazy’ . Their father , my ex husband and I had shared custody.

He was a typical Farmer organizer ( Teacher)

He identified well with the two older girls, but had a very difficult time with my youngest daughter who was clearly ADHD . He in spite of having studied psychology , was rigidly sure that this was a situation of “ right “ and “wrong”.

Guess who was wrong ? That’s it , the youngest , he hounded her to make her conform in spite of his alleged knowledge about ADHD . Like many teachers he could not be open to these possibilities. Because of his rule based lifestyle .

My daughter , the youngest , really suffered because of this treatment and the disdain he had for the diagnosis .

This disdain was also for me and my different view in life in general .

I finally left him and divorced him .

This was my second divorce . I tried to

Stay because I had so much guilt over ‘ leaving another marriage ‘ .

I never planned to remarry , but I met someone who was open and accepting , He was a Radiologist . The third was the charm . Unfortunately he died from Pancreatic cancer 7 yrs after we met .

However it was probably the first relationship that allowed me to trust. That I was ‘ ok’ . Love has power . Acceptance has every bit as much .

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Mmerose's avatar

What a different life I might have had if this set of characteristics had been recognized as applicable to practical and mental-health experience even 10 or 15 years before they were! As it was, I was over 40, and too many bridges burned. My school reports from childhood, that my Mom still had, when i was diagnosed, "She seems really bright, but....????" But if you want to see that blueberry lizard on a rock over there, come take a walk with me.

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