Tossing: ADHD’s Hidden Signal

Why sudden purges reveal more about emotional overload than disorganization.

I’ve been trying to understand more deeply how ADHD shows up in everyday habits, and I came across a HuffPost article about something called “tossing.” It struck me because I recognize it in myself, and because it seems to capture a piece of ADHD that doesn’t always get named.

It has to do with how I organize mostly papers; Louise has said for years that I don’t have a filing system, but instead have a piling system.

The idea is this: when things build up—papers, bills, clutter, tasks—and I feel overwhelmed, instead of sorting it, deciding what stays, what goes, I sometimes just toss the whole pile.

It feels like an act of relief, a way to avoid the discomfort, but later I often regret what I threw or what I still haven’t sorted. The article suggests that this pattern may signal a core symptom of ADHD.

Reading that, I felt seen. Because “tossing” isn’t exactly procrastination, though it’s related. It’s more reactive than intentional.

The HuffPost article quotes Oliver Drakeford, an American psychotherapist, who explains that tossing can be “automatic, reactive behavior” that helps someone with ADHD to escape anxiety or overwhelm when faced with chaos or too many things demanding attention. It’s less about making a thoughtful decision and more about trying to quiet mental overload.

For me this shows up in the “DOOM pile” (Didn’t Organize, Only Moved”) on my desk: the pile of stuff I didn’t organize but moved somewhere else so I felt less guilty. Receipts, loose papers, that project I meant to finish, the cleaning supplies I borrowed etc.

Sometimes I look at it and think, “I’ll deal with this later.” Then later becomes tomorrow or next week. And then I start feeling bad about the mess. At a certain point I think, what if I just throw it all away, even if I need some of it later, just to feel that relief. And I sometimes do. Not always the best choice. But in that moment it feels like survival.

What interested me is how tossing seems to connect to emotional states as much as cognitive function. The article points out that tossing is tied to experiential avoidance, meaning avoiding not just tasks, but the uncomfortable feelings that come with them, including anxiety, uncertainty, overwhelm.

The clutter or chaos isn’t just physical: it’s emotional. It triggers something in me that wants to escape. Tossing gives temporary relief. But in the long run it doesn’t resolve the overwhelm. It just postpones it, maybe even amplifies it because things get lost, decisions have to be revisited, and guilt builds up.

Thinking about this in light of my own Hunter/Farmer narrative, tossing looks like another manifestation of the Hunter wiring trying to cope in a Farmer-structured world. The Hunter sees too much, senses too much, has too many mental tabs open.

When life piles on, instead of patiently sorting, I act—often impulsively—to reduce the load. The Farmer mindset would want structured order, manageable routines, slow but steady processing. When the Farmer systems are missing, tossing becomes one way the Hunter tries to protect him- or herself. It simplifies when complexity feels like chaos.

But I also see that tossing is sometimes a clue, an early warning. If I’m tossing more than normal, it tells me I’m overstimulated, under-resourced, maybe emotionally taxed.

It’s not laziness; it’s a signal. And recognizing that helps me shift course. Maybe I can limit how many items accumulate before I have to sort. Maybe I can use small chunks instead of trying to system-organize everything at once. Maybe I can tolerate the discomfort instead of reacting to it.

I don’t think tossing should be pathologized wholly. It’s a coping strategy, imperfect but understandable. What needs to change is how I and the people around me respond.

If I understand that tossing is not just carelessness but tied to ADHD’s overwhelm, I feel less shame and more agency. I can try to build rituals or habits around preventing big piles from forming. I can try to name the emotional trigger when I feel overwhelmed. I can give myself grace.

Seeing this behavior named feels important because it gives words to something many of us do but don’t talk about. It helps us reframe tossing not as a sign we’ve failed, but as something we can notice, something we can work with.

Maybe for others reading this—if tossing sounds familiar—it’s a chance to observe without harsh judgment, to experiment with what helps: small tasks, short windows, emotional check-ins. And to remember that ADHD isn’t just about what we can’t do. It’s also about how we try to do what we must—sometimes by tossing, sometimes by organizing, but always by trying.