We need to build space away from the perceived disadvantages we endure and turn to developing and celebrating the advantages of being hunters.
An example: I have a long history of dental problems and I focus way too much on whether I am doing enough dental care and feeling guilty that I am not doing enough and regularly telling myself it’s my own damn fault if all my teeth fall out. Then I switch to having a stiff upper lip as I console myself with the thought that a lot of people survive just fine without them. I try to pay extra attention to the hygienists who advise me but when one told me several months ago, with a sigh I interpreted as sympathy for my future trauma, that I should give up being gentle with my teeth and just dig in there and scrub, I panicked and have been
wondering how much longer I would be able to hang onto them.
- pause to just roll my eyes at all that hunter thinking -
Now the good part. I went to a new hygienist a couple of weeks ago. When I told her I struggle with the routines of dental care because of ADHD. It was like her focus broke and she started back with a new approach. She addressed an issue other hygienists seemed to ignore and came up with three different hacks for me to try. She warned me they weren’t in any textbooks - they just came off the top of her head. Then she told me she had ADHD. I trusted her instantly and have dropped all anxiety and guilt tripping myself. They seem to be working but the important part is that I know she’s all in and her brain can see through all the unnecessary embellishments the farmers have laden a simple procedure with . She also sussed out my anxiety so she shook a tooth and assured me they were solid and good for the long haul.
It makes me want to run out and insist on a hunters only healthcare operation.
Just a small (huge to me) sample of what we have to offer.
"Just Try Harder" is the ever present task-master with the cattle-prod in my head that has me spiraling out of control in response to this Administration's violent intolerance of anything or anyone that doesn't conform to their sensibilities. I feel a heavy burden of guilt for failing Ian, myself, the other musicians and all the other "hunter" and "farmer" minds that might have been successfully reached and brought together. Just contemplating what feels like an insurmountable task is paralyzing. Where does one start?
Thank you for today's post! If I could get this kind of insight from a therapist I would be in therapy right now. I've read many self-help books over the years and have experienced some benefit; but the insight you offer about ADHD, might have made all the difference; had I even known it was a thing. I cultivated an aura of performative confidence and ran from relationships, and opportunities that might reveal how little I was valued at home. Forever trying to conceal my shortcomings for fear that at the first sign of weakness, I would be held in the same contempt I inspired in my own family. The pursuit of acting, singing and yoga were a means to access my inner neglected child and learn to feel comfortable "in my own skin". But the most important thing needed, remains to this day, elusive; the ability to delegate responsibility to others without losing the only means of expressing my "truth".
I just put your book, "ADHD: Hunter in a Farmer's World" on-hold with our on-line public library for Ian and me to read in our Kindles; and was able to borrow your "The War on Voting" and "The Edison Gene" to tide us over. We've listened to your radio show from time to time when it was convenient; and only recently realized you were right there on YouTube, and that we can watch you anytime. Wow! Great music! Great commentary! Perhaps with your book, I can manage not to crash and burn before being able to finally find a way lend my efforts to "the cause". It is helpful to know that others understand the paralysis one can experience when trying to force themselves to go outside of their skill set, agonizing over "what they would have, could have, should have done". I like brainstorming or performing with other creative people and working on creative projects at home, but often feel too broken and isolated to escape my "frozen state". I find reciprocal working relationships based on respect and cooperation, energizing; while on the other hand, hierarchical pecking-orders are, for me, enervating and unsatisfying. Dominate-or-be-dominated dynamics make me feel like I have been compelled to perform in someone else's soap opera and I don't care for either role. I should be sleeping, but clearly needed the vent; thanks for the outlet and for sharing your insights with this grateful reader and listener.
Life is about meaning and making it manifest. This intelligent universe gives inner guidance to create beauty, well-being and joy.
And WE, particularly are wired to hear and follow our drives to create that world. We can and others with more of the linear, repetitive wiring, can help bring our inspirations into creations.
And, this meaningful universe will support our intentions.
"Envisioning" is a practice to let the universe help.
1) Sit down for about 10 minutes in your inner presence/silence.
2) Recognize what things you are grateful for in your life, for a short time.
3) Then move into a joyous feeling and envision that important things you want have ALEADY happened, day to day items, longer term goals, abundance...
4) Deeply feel the relief and gratitude you have that these things have happened.
Then:
5) Throughout your day, with easy things, or moving toward what you want, have an inner pilot light of joy within, acting from there.
6) Don't effort toward results, but have the feeling of allowing them to happen on their own.
7) Turns out, creating is more deeply about feeling, and not just thought.
We are connected directly to the intelligence of the universe ; it wants you to be who you are, and it is often worded: "The universe will conspire to help you."
BTW Linear thinking: numbers and letters, are part of how things are shaped into creations, and following our passions' excitement can kick-in our linear abilities for shaping. Or, we can work with someone more wired to linear, methodical thinking, like a farmer, to shape our contributions/creations. We all have a brain hemisphere to do both, but we can be geared more to one than the other. Right hemisphere, meaning and passions. Left hemisphere, linear shaping abilities.
Thank you for this perspective. Relationships and family life, as well as work are filled with low signal, not preferred ,monotonous tasks. I am often not doing my share, whether I try harder or not. My partner is a highly sensitive empath who needs lots of time to recover from the world. She manages to do her share . It seems she can prioritize her less preferred tasks even with less energy. It looks like I'm not prioritizing vs. not trying.
Prioritizing sounds like giving more meaning in a deeper way than trying. If so, that sounds good.
Overall, a way I look at all on the spectrum is, we are "chosen." What we are geared for is making a better world. So, having ADD, Attention Differently Directed, I revel in what calls me to do in life, and when drawn into day to day "to do's," I try to remember, my natural orientation and passions are what are to be listened to and followed. I will share about envisioning next, which you may be interested in.
We need to build space away from the perceived disadvantages we endure and turn to developing and celebrating the advantages of being hunters.
An example: I have a long history of dental problems and I focus way too much on whether I am doing enough dental care and feeling guilty that I am not doing enough and regularly telling myself it’s my own damn fault if all my teeth fall out. Then I switch to having a stiff upper lip as I console myself with the thought that a lot of people survive just fine without them. I try to pay extra attention to the hygienists who advise me but when one told me several months ago, with a sigh I interpreted as sympathy for my future trauma, that I should give up being gentle with my teeth and just dig in there and scrub, I panicked and have been
wondering how much longer I would be able to hang onto them.
- pause to just roll my eyes at all that hunter thinking -
Now the good part. I went to a new hygienist a couple of weeks ago. When I told her I struggle with the routines of dental care because of ADHD. It was like her focus broke and she started back with a new approach. She addressed an issue other hygienists seemed to ignore and came up with three different hacks for me to try. She warned me they weren’t in any textbooks - they just came off the top of her head. Then she told me she had ADHD. I trusted her instantly and have dropped all anxiety and guilt tripping myself. They seem to be working but the important part is that I know she’s all in and her brain can see through all the unnecessary embellishments the farmers have laden a simple procedure with . She also sussed out my anxiety so she shook a tooth and assured me they were solid and good for the long haul.
It makes me want to run out and insist on a hunters only healthcare operation.
Just a small (huge to me) sample of what we have to offer.
"Just Try Harder" is the ever present task-master with the cattle-prod in my head that has me spiraling out of control in response to this Administration's violent intolerance of anything or anyone that doesn't conform to their sensibilities. I feel a heavy burden of guilt for failing Ian, myself, the other musicians and all the other "hunter" and "farmer" minds that might have been successfully reached and brought together. Just contemplating what feels like an insurmountable task is paralyzing. Where does one start?
Thank you for today's post! If I could get this kind of insight from a therapist I would be in therapy right now. I've read many self-help books over the years and have experienced some benefit; but the insight you offer about ADHD, might have made all the difference; had I even known it was a thing. I cultivated an aura of performative confidence and ran from relationships, and opportunities that might reveal how little I was valued at home. Forever trying to conceal my shortcomings for fear that at the first sign of weakness, I would be held in the same contempt I inspired in my own family. The pursuit of acting, singing and yoga were a means to access my inner neglected child and learn to feel comfortable "in my own skin". But the most important thing needed, remains to this day, elusive; the ability to delegate responsibility to others without losing the only means of expressing my "truth".
I just put your book, "ADHD: Hunter in a Farmer's World" on-hold with our on-line public library for Ian and me to read in our Kindles; and was able to borrow your "The War on Voting" and "The Edison Gene" to tide us over. We've listened to your radio show from time to time when it was convenient; and only recently realized you were right there on YouTube, and that we can watch you anytime. Wow! Great music! Great commentary! Perhaps with your book, I can manage not to crash and burn before being able to finally find a way lend my efforts to "the cause". It is helpful to know that others understand the paralysis one can experience when trying to force themselves to go outside of their skill set, agonizing over "what they would have, could have, should have done". I like brainstorming or performing with other creative people and working on creative projects at home, but often feel too broken and isolated to escape my "frozen state". I find reciprocal working relationships based on respect and cooperation, energizing; while on the other hand, hierarchical pecking-orders are, for me, enervating and unsatisfying. Dominate-or-be-dominated dynamics make me feel like I have been compelled to perform in someone else's soap opera and I don't care for either role. I should be sleeping, but clearly needed the vent; thanks for the outlet and for sharing your insights with this grateful reader and listener.
Life is about meaning and making it manifest. This intelligent universe gives inner guidance to create beauty, well-being and joy.
And WE, particularly are wired to hear and follow our drives to create that world. We can and others with more of the linear, repetitive wiring, can help bring our inspirations into creations.
And, this meaningful universe will support our intentions.
"Envisioning" is a practice to let the universe help.
1) Sit down for about 10 minutes in your inner presence/silence.
2) Recognize what things you are grateful for in your life, for a short time.
3) Then move into a joyous feeling and envision that important things you want have ALEADY happened, day to day items, longer term goals, abundance...
4) Deeply feel the relief and gratitude you have that these things have happened.
Then:
5) Throughout your day, with easy things, or moving toward what you want, have an inner pilot light of joy within, acting from there.
6) Don't effort toward results, but have the feeling of allowing them to happen on their own.
7) Turns out, creating is more deeply about feeling, and not just thought.
We are connected directly to the intelligence of the universe ; it wants you to be who you are, and it is often worded: "The universe will conspire to help you."
And it does!
BTW Linear thinking: numbers and letters, are part of how things are shaped into creations, and following our passions' excitement can kick-in our linear abilities for shaping. Or, we can work with someone more wired to linear, methodical thinking, like a farmer, to shape our contributions/creations. We all have a brain hemisphere to do both, but we can be geared more to one than the other. Right hemisphere, meaning and passions. Left hemisphere, linear shaping abilities.
Thank you for this perspective. Relationships and family life, as well as work are filled with low signal, not preferred ,monotonous tasks. I am often not doing my share, whether I try harder or not. My partner is a highly sensitive empath who needs lots of time to recover from the world. She manages to do her share . It seems she can prioritize her less preferred tasks even with less energy. It looks like I'm not prioritizing vs. not trying.
Prioritizing sounds like giving more meaning in a deeper way than trying. If so, that sounds good.
Overall, a way I look at all on the spectrum is, we are "chosen." What we are geared for is making a better world. So, having ADD, Attention Differently Directed, I revel in what calls me to do in life, and when drawn into day to day "to do's," I try to remember, my natural orientation and passions are what are to be listened to and followed. I will share about envisioning next, which you may be interested in.
Thank you. A great way to think about it.