ADHD: Lost Human Interaction so Critical for Good Mental Health
It’s so easy to become socially disconnected in this internet-based world…

Decades ago, Robert Putnam wrote a brilliant book, Bowling Alone:The Collapse and Revival of American Community, positing that television and screens were causing us to lose the human interaction that’s so critical for functional societies and good mental health.
Back in the 1980s, when Louise and I lived in Atlanta, I joined a group for entrepreneurs/small business owners. We’d get together at a different restaurant every month (private meeting rooms only) and go around the circle, each of us sharing something about their lives, their families, and the joys and struggles they were experiencing.
We had demonstrations of everything from martial arts to a fellow who serenaded us with a flute. We became friends and metaphorically held each other’s hands. We helped each other through grief and success, business and personal struggles and victories.
The Terminus Group still exists all these years later and, although I haven’t seen any of the guys in decades, many of us still keep in touch.
It’s so easy to become socially disconnected in this internet-based world. Here are some stories of people who’ve broken free and rejoined their families and friends.
An entrepreneur in New York writes:
I have four daughters. The oldest is now twenty-four, and the youngest is twelve.
For the past twenty-four years, I was always saying to myself that “next week” or “next month” I’d spend time with my kids. Well, it never happened. There was always something, usually having to do with the business, that got in the way. (And, truth be told, a lot of what the kids would want to do was boring to me anyway. I don’t like to play Go Fish, and I hate the zoo. I’m a high-energy, high-stim guy, and even amusement parks get boring to me after a half-hour.)
Then it hit me about six months ago. My oldest “little girl” has grown up, moved away, gotten married, and I still don’t know her. I know my business associates better than I know my own kids.
We still have two at home, and one at college who’s not yet married. So now I’ve set aside every Saturday just for my family. It’s damn hard to do, this kind of self-discipline, but I made the commitment to them all, and I also asked them if they’d help me keep my commitment. That’s been the most helpful part, because the girls and my wife now remind me every week.
And I’m discovering that my kids are really interesting human beings. They’re every bit as interesting as my business associates, and we’ve worked out things to do together that we all enjoy, from watching TV together to going shopping to playing Trivial Pursuit. When I find myself getting bored, I either push through it, or try to get us all doing something else that will keep my interest.
I’ve lost my first child, and will probably die never really having known her all that well. I’m not going to lose the rest.
A person in Philadelphia adds:
I just wanted to suggest that many people, particularly those with ADHD who may not have the best self-image or high self-esteem, should plan social time in their lives.
I joined a women’s business group here in Philadelphia, for example. Before that, because I make my living as a freelance writer for magazines, I was almost always at home in front of the word processor. I had contact with many people — perhaps hundreds a year — as I was doing interviews and research for articles, but no social life.
Joining that women’s club was one of the best things I ever did. It got me out of the house, got me thinking in new directions and doing things in new and different ways, and created an instant circle of friends for me.
Now, two years later, I’m closer to some of those women than I have been with anybody since we moved away from Chicago when I was twelve and had to leave my best friend.
I agree that human interaction is critical for mental health. We have a large family and get together often. Our last gathering was for pumpkin carving, where everybody made it, even my eight-year-old granddaughter, who broke her arm rollerblading that morning and had a cast applied earlier that day. She insisted on going. We have had disagreements but have never let it separate us for long.