ADHD: Learn to Postpone Gratification
From a series of stories shared with me by Hunters in this Farmer's World
Is it hyperfocus of a craving for the dopamine rush that risky behavior, drugs, and general accomplishment provides? I’m not sure, but this story from a fellow who tracked me down online is spot on:
Tom in New Hampshire takes it a step further:
I think the worst part of ADHD is hyperfocus. When I’m hyperfocus ing on something, and it’s something I want, I just go nuts. I’ve gotta have it. I went through it with tropical fish, with woodworking tools, with computer stuff, and I go through it all the time with food, booze, and sex.
Then a few years ago, I went to an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting with a friend. I was drinking a lot, and he was a recovering alcoholic and he thought he’d pegged me as an alcoholic, so I went along with him to check it out.
I got two things out of that meeting The first was that I probably am not an alcoholic: I’ve always been able to take or leave booze, and mostly just drink when I’m bored. I’ve never been so drunk I’ve blacked out or anything like that.
But the second thing I got was the most useful. AA has this saying about living life one day at a time, and they use that as one of their ways to deal with the craving that many alcoholics have for booze. The idea of saying that you’ll never, ever, ever again do something (like drinking) is pretty overwhelming But just about anybody can say that they won’t drink for just one day.
Although drinking wasn’t my problem, I knew that lots of other things were.
So now, when I’m hit with a craving or impulse, unless it’s something really important (this can become an excuse for procrastination if you’re not careful), I say to myself, “I’ll wait just one day and see if I feel the same way.”
Sometimes I have to wait “just one more day” for a week or so before the craving settles down to the point where I can look at it dispassionately and really make a rational decision about it. This is particularly useful when it comes to buying cars, computers, and houses, all things I’ve bought in the past on an impulse!.
So my ADHD success strategy is to take life one day at a time, and wait to see if my feelings stay high on something long enough to make me pretty sure that I really should get it.